Braai (BBQ for the non South Africans!)

[blinda]

*Braai (BBQ) RULES

> We are about to enter the braai season. Therefore it is important to
> refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.
> When a man volunteers to do the braai the following chain of events are
> put into motion: *
>
> Routine...*
> (1) The woman buys the food.
> (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert .
> (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
> with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the
> man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
> (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion
> zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding
> activities can take place without the interference of the woman. *
>
> Here comes the important part:*
> (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. *
>
> More routine...*
> (6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
> (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking
> great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.
> *
>
> Important again:*
> (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. *
>
> More routine...*
> (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
> sauces, and brings them to the table.
> (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. *
>
> And most important of all:*
> (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
> (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon
> seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing
> some women.

[seekerofwisdom]

As a male Anglo Saxon with an exorbitant pride in his cooking and especially BBQ skills I find this post offensive.

I long for the day when instead of producing 'engineered sperm' we are able to clone 'males' and do away with the weaker sex.

Blokes! ask them to put up a shelf or unblock the loo!

I think it is time to swop favorite BBQ recipes.

Ok , garden fresh beetroot wraped in tin foil and roasted on the BB, not one of those bloody gas fired cooking ranges but burning drift wood.

Shy (see there is a reason to be anon).

Enjoy, next whole salmon Jamie style.

[robertisaacs]

the BB, not one of those bloody gas fired cooking ranges but burning drift wood.

I'm with you Brother!!

I don't live by the sea so I struggle to get hold of driftwood but I agree that gas BBQ's are cheating. Its just plain wrong. Lacks moral fibre. Also, real men don't need eyebrows.

My favourite BBQ serving is swordfish steaks marinaded in ginger and lime (not too much ginger).

And, missy, I DO do the washing up!

Robert

[billliggins]

Sorry to disagree here Shy.

Beetroot sounds a mite too vegetable for my taste, although just a smidgin might go well with the below (unless a veggie).

Take best steak, slice, mix flour, pepper, salt and most important a crumbled stock cube, coat the meat, flash cook. Eat with fresh buttered crusty bread. Accompanying drinks could be beer, a good claret or claret cup. The former and the latter make you belch, which assists with male bonding no end. This also works well eaten with butcher's sausage - not the pizzle, anus and snout type found at certain supermarkets. Watch the Aussies being thrashed in the Ashes (we hope!)

Quite agree about proper barbies. Haven't got access to driftwood, but smoked oak and charcoal is O.K. It sterilises the hands by coating them with already burnt - hence sterile - wood, and the fat from the meat makes it stick. Whoever developed the gas type deserves to be incinerated on their own invention.

Thanks for detailing the female duties at a barbie Bel, I'll pass it on to the lady wife.

Bill